Thank you.

For the last three days or so I've been on a kind of productivity semi-autopilot. I think I figured out how to make myself do things.

More importantly, all the stress that came out in this post started getting resolved: yesterday I had an interview and today I'm going in for a drug test. If I get hired I could start as soon as next week. I've also gotten a couple of accepted freelancing offers after nothing but rejection. Things are looking up, though of course I don't trust it. I still feel wretched about my past, but it's at least possible now that my current situation will get better.