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Originally Posted by rep97
Dissocation can mean that a person doesn't have a connection to their body/gut. I am 24/7 in my mind...and no connection(as to feel) and it even says so in the information you posted in this thread.
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I know, I was just curious why you felt that way.
Personally I go in and out of dissociation, if i have too much pain going on or need to hide it, thats when I do it.
However the 2 times i lost memory, one was severe panic and terror and the other one was such high amount of pain and fighting the urge to self do a ritual.
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When I take a lot of sleeping pills.. and it makes me drowsy I start to feel a connection with my gut/body but then soon enough I lose myself again after the effects are wearing off.
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How many is a lot?
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Dissocation has varying degrees.. from not being able to know where you are.. to something similar to mine.. where you can't FEEL life.. you just experience life INTELLUCTUALLY. I knew this but I am quoting from your own article you posted in this thread.
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Ok, so you are stating you are numb? Im just trying to understand is all.
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So yeah... I feel there are several people in my mind and body.. they all clash with each other and I am in pain/suffering all the time. No I don't hear voices or anything but I know there are differing points of views in my head and I have no connection to my body so it is hard to live life peacefully or enjoy life and not be in pain.
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That sounds like DID. Not sure why your Drs think schizophrenia. DID is having alters, schizophrenia is hearing voices.
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Also on top of these symptoms I have emotional flashbacks too.. where I feel a lot of shame and hide from people and then get nauseous and sweat alot. Also I can't make decisions. I would think about the smallest things for hours and I still can't come up with a solution for simple things.
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Flashbacks of any kind are normally found more with PTSD, or at least in my experience.
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This is because my mind is full of thoughts and going so fast but I can't make up my mind because I can't FEEL with my body. Just a lot of noise in my mind. I donno if you got it or not
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My mind races with MANY thoughts 24/7 about as fast if not faster than the spin cycle of a washing machine and i cant grab just one of them. I wouldnt sleep if i didnt take an anxiety med at night to slow that down at night.
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but this is very painful for anyone to lose connection to their body.. which in other words lose the ability to feel.
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I was numb for 10 yrs while denying my past ever happened. That was supression, pushing it all down but it kept all bad AND good feelings completely numb. One may put up here or there which is why ive struggled with several addictions, they got them numb again. So the inability to feel anything i totally get.
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So where does that shame come from? it must be something to do with trauma. so yeah.
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For me, not just the trauma but carrying the blame for the trauma also. Sunce the blame has shifted, its not like i dont feel shame or guilt since i still believe i deserved it...but its not as much. Or at least it made it easier for me to get better and to move.