I guess we both have the same experience, except for the fact that I was physically and psychologically abused by my own mom. My parents sent me off to my aunt when I was 8 and that happened after they got divorced. 16 years living with my aunt without receiving a single phone call from my own mom. I could see her whenever she came back for holiday, but it was like i'm totally invisible to her eyes. Don't lose hope. I'm struggling as well. Everyone here does. I hope you could find what works the best for you. I'm sorry I can't offer any idea or solution because i'm still searching mine. Hopefully you'll get over it soon.