I've wasted probably close to $10-15,000 and I feel guilty about that too becaus I've nothing to show for it. My kids definitely give me a sense of meaning but I wish I had something else too. I never finished my degree, I only work part time and I struggle to make real friendships. I understand how you're feeling and I wish j had advice, but I don't. I just try to keep myself busy and distracted from the emptiness and the loneliness. My main goal is trying to help my kids find meaning and a place in life so they won't grow up to struggle too.