Thank you for your thoughtful comments. You are so right about the abandonment card. My dad left us when i was 12, so maybe that's part of it. But the miscarriages and the disolving of my former marriage left me feeling in pain and lonely. Plus this guy was so great in so many ways, that I looked the other way when I first saw signs of strange behaviour. I thought that if i was god and kind and trustworthy that he would stop it. If anything, he's getting worse. But it isn't anything I've done..I know that it my gut. It's still very painful though and i have to make sure that i don't go back, at any cost!
Thank you again for your upport.
Nuala