(((((selfy)))))
i was just thinking about my mother and our 'relationship' esp when it comes to this sort of stuff, then I saw your post and understood it completely...I am visiting my family at Christmas (it will be summer here then) and am dreading it...no-one even knew that I SIed until I was hospitalised 3 yrs ago, and since then my mother thinks that we have an 'open, honest' relationship. But we don't. I have never been able to go to her for a hug let alone to talk about anything, so when she outright asks if I have SIed recently my response is always an outright lie...NO...but then at Christmas I am scared that she will see all the recent damage I have done to myself...
Anyway, what i think I am trying to say is that I understand your anger and frustration...I may not have it totally right but it sounds like you and your mum don't have a close relationship, made harder by the fact that she wants you to 'share' with her when that is often like a trigger and makes it worse, esp if she is so unsupportive...is that kinda how it is? Anyway, safe hugs and I hope that you can get rid of your anger and frustration safely...take care ok