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Old Sep 01, 2007, 09:23 AM
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MissCharlotte MissCharlotte is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Apr 2007
Location: East of the Sun, West of the Moon
Posts: 3,982
So, I gave it another shot.

The bottom line here for me is being able to express my needs. No can do, but working on it.

I called him this morning as he was driving. I started talking about how I wasn't able to articulate my needs yesterday and how I felt after I hung up. I told him that my knee jerk reaction is to retreat and quit.

He responded by saying that our contract had been that we would talk on Friday so that I would know he was back and clearly I needed more. I thought he was criticizing me and telling me that I shouldn't be calling. I began to cry -- no I was sobbing -- and I told him with a sobbing, cracking voice that I couldn't continue the conversation. He said, "Oh, sister, come on." So I persisted. I told him it sounded like he was telling me I shouldn't be calling. He said no, that he was just telling me that he was responding according to what we had agreed upon and that if I needed more-that I needed to tell him that. I agreed and told him that was why I called to try again.

I told him I was falling apart and he said that maybe that's what I needed to do. We talked some more and the focus was on defining what we were really saying to each other, pointing out inconsistencies in the perception of what the other was saying. He said that he would like to pick apart something I mentioned. I said we could pick it apart on Tuesday. He laughed. We were back. We continued until he needed to hang up because he was lost on the road! He told me to call again if I needed him.

Okay, I guess I'm not quitting. Pink, you were so right about not going into the details. I didn't need to do that. I just needed to know we were back, and I have him in my corner.

Sigh.
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