I saw a diff pdoc a wk ago because I was going through something and freaking out. His first thing to say was that he's taking away my Ativan! Never going back to him. I refuse. I will see my regular pdoc even though the appointment isn't until the 14th.

However to the OP, Either you are overthinking this and it's turned into OCD behavior or your friends are indeed acting different towards you. Either get on something to stop the intrusive thoughts or dump your friends. I find that the more I try to explain myself to my "normal" family and friends, the crazier they think I am! So I learned my lesson that I will keep my MI to myself and pdocs or just answer if I'm asked. It's a shame but I have lost some people because they here BP and immediately think "crazy". Those aren't the type of people I need to be around. It hurts, it sucks, but it's the truth. So be careful what you admit to people who aren't prepared. And be careful that you don't alienate yourself because of this anxiety too. Talk about it with your mental health team and see if you can try a med like a PRN benzo. Trileptal is a great med (I'm also on it) however it doesn't stop my negative thoughts. When I start to think about these things, usually when I'm trying to sleep, I tell myself to stop it and try my best to think about a neutral subject.



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