Hello everybody,
If you could help me I would be very grateful! Im a 26 yo male with traumatic childhood experiences especially concerning relationships (especially with my mother - no love, no intimacies, only great fear of her and her unpredictable behaviour). Ive been going to Psychotherapy for a couple of years now with good progress on behalf of reducing depression, anxiety in all kinds of form, eating disorder, self esteem, substance abuse etc. Over the last half year Ive been kind of stable with my mood for the first time of my life.

One of my biggest problems has and still is my strong fear of intimacy especially with a woman. I wish to have a relationship for so long but its not been possible for me so far. I was always too afraid of women, never thought I could be loved by them. Its been really frustrating for most of my life and I have a big fear of staying alone for the rest of my life. In the last year Ive been stopping to try working on this topic - Ive had to take a break on this matter to gather some energy for the next step. Ive been studying different kinds of psychoanalytic approaches and all kinds of other stuff on this topic and feel I have a good understanding of the underlying psychological theories. By the way - after not seeing my mother for 5 years and writing her/accusing her /understanding what made her into who she became - I have an actual relationship with her now - for the first time of my life. Ive been able to forgive her - understanding that she had her own family history which made her to this person. Nevertheless - my problems with other women remain

My question is: Is there a specific kind of psychotherapy - psychoanalysis/behavioural therapy/group therapy/systemic therapy…… which is especially useful for this issue of fear of intimacy / bonding problems??? I am planning to really put some effort into this once again but I know I will need help from a professional - maybe a woman for the first time - and I dont know who to go to.

For an answer of my question I would be very very grateful

sincerly
tobias