I have a very complicated relationship with someone. We used to be together for about one year, then I couldn't take it anymore and broke up with him. But I still love him and I am so torn between being completely frustrated by his behaviours and my feelings for him. He can be sweet and kind and I really like him, but whenever he is under pressure, he starts actng in very weird ways. He started therapy after we broke up and is in a better place, so we started talking again and said OK let's see where this takes us.
But now he has to write an important exam and has been horrible again for the past couple weeks. I mean, not just slightly off, but really horrible and I can't take it. I told him how I feel, I want to support him and I am not taking any of his crap personal, but it still is crap. He makes me so mad.
He can't decide for himself. He always refuses to take responsibility and tries to get me to decide for him. That behaviour just ticks me off.
He prefers to send me texts and argues in irrational ways, so that I am just baffled by the fact that anyone could be so confusingly weird and mean and let's just face it, a real jerk.
So basically, I am in love with a jerk. He seems to think that we HAVE to do what he wants. He gets really angry and upset when I use the word "NO" and express my will and stick to that. He gets really pissed when I don't fold (which I don't), so he is pissed a lot, hides it, and then flings it around my ears whenever I bring up an argument.
How can anyone be that way? How can he actually think that it is okay to treat me that way?
After he was being impossible again yesterday, and I realized having a discussion would just bring me that feeling of banging my head against a wall, I gave up and told him I didn't want to see him and that I couldn't stand him right now. Wow. So I guess I give up on him? Because I really can't take it. I feel his demands and expectations towards me, even when he doesn't express them. I can see from his actions and reactions what his concept of a relationship is, and I don't like it AT ALL.
Has anyone ever been in a situation like this?
Gosh I am so frustrated right now, I am not even sad I'm not seeing him. I went out with a new friend and had a great time and I only missed him a little.
I feel like I am being tested by a 5 y.o. all the time