I have a problem relaxing around others in any situation. Even with someone nice who I am interested in being with, I can not relax enough to enjoy sex.

It has been many years and I gave up trying a long time ago.

I think it is called vaginumis when relaxing for intercourse becomes impossible to accomplish.

I go totally stiff and rigid and I can't make it go away until he "gets out" of me. I just don't like it and I can't enjoy it. I thought it would self correct if I just stopped worrying but that has not happened. I tried it drunk and I tried it sober and I failed both ways. I just avoid it now and that makes me feel like I am defective.