I was raped and I blame myself for not being strong enough to make him stop. I was on the bus and many nonraping people just watched the bus rape whirlpool without helping me. I hate myself very much and I think they would have helped a different girl who was not me. I am over 50 years old with grey hair so he choose a weak person on purpose... I hate being old and weak too. If I wasn't old, weak, tiny, ugly, worthless, etc... he would not have gotten away with hurting me.

I never really had too much good selfesteem but now I have very bad selfesteem.