To be blunt (and no offense) but I don't think she's ready to settle down. She's not willing to work at your relationship and expects you to cater to her...Not good.

I don't think she gave herself enough time after her separation. I think she needs it now. Whether you are there when she done with her journey of self-discovery is up to you.

You seem to want to allow work stress as an excuse. Why is that? Employment and non-employment does put stress on a relationship, but it shouldn't figure into the success or failure of it.