Recently I've been under a lot of stress in the midst of a mixed episode.

But this is a symptom I haven't had in a few years and it's scaring me. The voices are more complex this time, instead of just hearing my name being called; the voice sounds like a male and I can't pinpoint whose voice it is, but it's being demeaning. I can't remember what it says all the time, but the first one I heard scared the living **** out of me. It said "Wattsherfayce you're a huge disappointment (or dipshit- I can't recall I just remember it starting with 'D')".

Luckily I see my therapist on Monday but I'm scared of going inpatient. My therapist has been pushing me to go to a crisis center, but I'm too scared to hear that they have no beds (so lucky to have one in my city- I know many of you don't have access to such a safe place). They work with the local hospital and I'm scared if I go there that they will also make me go inpatient.

I'm scared of going inpatient because I know they will want to put me on antipsychotics- I am very much against using them. I tried Risperidone- a low dose of .5mg - and now I'm dealing with tardive dysphonia. I don't know if it's going away. They are looking to do a surgery to do a biopsy on my voice box.

Does anyone else hear voices outside their head? How do you deal with it without taking medication? I've been using all the tools I know from DBT but they aren't working much.