Hello mzsurnuage: I am sorry you are having to live in such difficult circumstances. Unfortunately I don't think I can really offer any useful suggestions. Are there any LGBTQ organizations, counselors or support groups you could access? I don't know anything about social services in France. In the U.S. there are sometimes not-for-profit organizations that offer free or income-based services for people who are low income.
I have some small sense of what you are feeling. I have lived an entire lifetime trapped in a life that was not who I felt myself to be. (I'll spare you the details...) But you do have your entire life still ahead of you. And it is vitally important that you be true to yourself. Living someone else's life is a prescription for misery, take my word for it. I wish you well...