Quote:
Originally Posted by Wattsherfayce
I've been struggling with suicidal ideations for weeks now. and online bully who I know in real life- they know where I live and he's gone to jail for physoicaly assaulting women. This be sound stupid but I'm scared- I haven't left my apartment in a week.
When I hear things I ask my SO "did you say....?" and he says he hasn't said anything. I havent been eating or sleeping. I can't tell if they are real, and whn they happen I try my best to brush it off especially when my SO isnt around. But I get so confused. I tri to think and it's jumbled up. I cant focus, my head hurts sooooo much. I tri to distract myself with Netflix- its always on. Im trying to watch UFC now but I cant focus.
I just want to take a whole bottle of benzos and go to sleep (and hopefully never wake up) but I dont want to end up in the hospital. I'm so scared all the time, I cant sleep when I do it's bad dreams or night terrors.
I'm on 500mg divalproex 150mg Lyrica .5mg xanax
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It seems to me delusions may be your biggest problem and the voices just add up to that. You may not realise it, but could that be true be? In my experience, persecutory or other delusions with a immediate negative impact are usually by far the more potent adversary. Hallucinations can just come on at the same time because you are far too anxious.
Who can you contact to discuss whether and under which conditions you'd agree to go inpatient (maybe talk about the details later if you are worried about involuntary admission)?
Maybe antipsychotics are still your best bet, but just to "kill" possible delusional thinking for now and only now. Antipsychotics don't
have to be used for maintenance therapy.