Quote:
Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic
For a while when I was first in recovery I called my mom negativo because she seems to see the worst in everything....then we came up with a code word martini for when it would be helpful for her to sort of look on the brighter side. In her case she was willing to try to change it wasn't very effective but I was so sensitive to it when psychotic....like she would tell me I probably had diabetes or something or thyroid so when I was sick I told them to test for those I was so sure I had them. It's like all that negativity seemed like truth to me I couldn't just brush it off. I'm fine now but man early in recovery I just couldn't handle it.
|
my mom wants me to get tested for thyroid issues and ive already been tested for diabetes twice because she suggested it. now im in the process of changing doctors. medical doctors. i literally cant get another MD. its proven to be impossible. i am supposedly on a year waiting list to get to see one. im probably not even on the list i bet!
but its like i told her my hamster died. then we talked about negative things about my sister. all this for two hours. about how i need to lose weight too. because i said i dont want to shop for clothes because im too big. and i keep gaining weight.
to be honest, i feel like everyone around me is just using me. like almost everyone. ever since this one relationship went south and this guy keeps re-asking me to be with him again...- im feeling used.
i dont feel like anybody truly likes me or cares for me. but rather is just using me.
idk any other way to say it.