I got invited to a meal with one of my work colleagues and while I kept putting off replying I ended up leaving it too late and I had to go. I desperately wanted to back out and stay home but I've done it a lot and I thought that I had to show my face.

It was the worst. There were 13 of us round the table and guess who was the one not in a pair having a conversation? It was such hard work to plaster a smile on my face and pretend I was OK. People were drinking and I didn't feel like it, but because in the past when I've felt able to cope better they know I like a drink on a night out. All that happened was it made me exceptionally tired.

A few of us got a lift with someone else so we had to wait until they were ready before we could leave. I just hated every single second of it. I've not left the house at all today and have avoided contact with everyone. I used to be such a sociable person and now people don't understand why I can't be that person.

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