Passion takes many forms … I know I have had and lost them …
In the beginning everything was a passion , 100% of effort was required in every venture , be it a ball game or working around the house …
As a teenager passion shifted to cars and speed … faster was never enough …
Guns .. could never have enough …

Twentyish found love … passion became very physical .. mental .. all consuming ..
Religion consumed every inch of passion there was in me ..
Work became a calling , the most consuming passion I had ever felt .. I was making a difference …

Speed , guns , physical , mental , religion all burned brightly then went out … only work survived …

then that one day in 2012 … a single point in time , a single event changed my life completely ... my passion for work went out … my world crumbled … panic and meds was the only path I could find to survive … those same meds that drove me inpatient …

four long years filled full of pills have allowed the panic to be over come , but the passion has never returned … there is no passion of any kind left …
mood flating drugs … just life burning out I may never know …

all was black … then came “soon-kyu “ … I knew it would not last but my god it felt so good … passion … clutching at straws I Know … but passion … but so far away .. out of reach ...
then that light dimmed.....

my “manic” girl I found …. passion … hope … reachable … dare I say lust … fear … excitement … all were there … for the first time since before that day in 2012 …

My friends here rightly so put that light out … it would hurt others too much … it would distroy my family …

so I dimmed that light myself … with this realization I could never have passion again without hurting others I decided to stop trying …

Can you live without passion … maybe ... but I no longer want too … it's just a matter of time now …

Tigger .