Oh ((sinking)), I have most definitely experienced those crying days that you have been having. Honestly, it takes however long it takes to heal, and I know just what you mean by fearing it can get unbearable. It's so important that you be able to say that though, that IMHO is an important step to healing even though it doesn't feel like it is. I think this is what takes place "before" one finally gets to a place where they can begin integrating.

It's a lot of work to heal when struggling with PTSD, it's just so nice when someone else validates that and offers support for how well you have done so far with it. I know all too well that fear of "unbearable". Ironically, it is often that very same fear that individuals who abuse unknowingly fear as well. The important thing to keep in mind though sinker, is that there never was such a thing as "perfect". That has always been one of the things that has challenged human being the most.