A week ago I would have done anything to find something to go in my sleep.
I wanted a mistake in medication dosage, or combo that will send me home.

I would never do it myself.
1- My father did it. That is some of my trauma.
2- My kids will suffer with a very strange feeling. ( Like me.)
3- It won't necessarily be a success. I've seen what happens when people fail.
4- I'm chickenshit. I have the means, but not the guts.

Today, a week after, and 15 days on Lithium, I'm checking contraindications.
Trazodone has a red warning with Remeron. Serotonin Syndrome.
I ain't taking that. No sir. I want to keep on living!!!.
Nothing has changed. Funny how the human mind works.