Lamotrigine also really helped me get back seeing the meaning in things.

Since you're feeling emotionally flat, you might want to just do what seemed meaningful before (maybe even some things you pursued during "up" times), with the knowledge that you are now able to do them without derailing. Slowly but surely you might recapture what it was that gave you so much energy and drive, but in a healthy way.

I don't know how much you remember of your time before BP hit or afterwards during stable periods, but it's possible it is not much different from how you feel now.

Regrettably, most people in society just go through the motions without feeling much, I think. It's just the (Western) society we built for ourselves: one of peace and comfort, but also oftentimes more or less devoid of meaning.

Maybe this from the lyrics of "You, Me and the Bourgeoisie" by The Submarines will help you put things in perspective: "Here I am with all the pleasures of the First World, laid out for me. Who am I to break down?"

I think managing BP is really the art of counter-balancing being too hard on yourself at times, but equally being too soft at other times. At any rate, don't mind what others say, but act responsibly for all your actions at any time and sometimes just count your blessings and fight or muddle on.