Quote:
Originally Posted by QuietMind
Yeah, I dunno about you (maybe you feel this too?) for me, there's this pressure to be upbeat, and come across as positive, uplifting and full of self-love.
Especially when life is objectively decent or people say "oh your life is ok, what do you have to be unhappy about?"
The self hatred is still there of course, and it's not like I can tell friends / loved ones "I hate myself so much, I wish I was never born" because they'll be like "You're a good person!" when I'm thinking "if only you knew how horrible I really am underneath the facade."
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Well the thing is, I don't let people close enough to me to tell me these things
I tell myself those things though. My life IS good! I wasn't abused. I have absloutely zero reason to feel the way I do. I try to keep my rage under control, as I work with preschoolers. My closest friend knows I can get "ragey" (my techinical term), but she doesn't know the extent of it.