Broadway, we need to tell our story to be held accountable for our actions. So pick up the phone and call the local AA chapter and speak with them. They can send someone out to your home and talk with you. The Big Book does mention people drinking sterno, etc. for alcohol. It is the disease but remember the disease is not you. We are as sick as our secrets so find a fellow member with a closed mouth to share this with in person. You need the FELLOWSHIP OF OTHERS for the support you need, they can help you stay accountable. tc