Hey. I guess that I think it sounds like he is scared of intimacy. Probably due to some of his past stuff. I worry that a 'swift kick' might hurt him and make him withdraw from you even more. But then... That could be more to do with my issues, I guess.

I think that Mr Man isn't so terrific at emotional intimacy either. I'm getting that impression from our phone conversations anyway. I will say that I miss him and stuff like that and he doesn't really initiate anything like that though he is kind to me when I express that kind of stuff. I think he might be a bit afraid of intimacy.

But that being said he does thoughtful things to show me that he cares. Sending me books and stuff like that. I think guys can be a little more action rather than emotional expression oriented. I wonder if he thinks that he was doing something nice for you (and for the kids of course) to entertain them for a while to give you some time to yourself.

I wonder if marriage / couples therapy could help. It would provide a bit of a forum or arena for both of you to talk about things that you would like in your marriage. It might be that there are things that he wants / needs that he has difficulty communicating to you. It might be that he doesn't really understand what it is that you want / need. When people are afraid of emotional intimacy I guess they are afraid of sharing about that kind of stuff. Become emotionally avoidant instead. Sounds like he does care about you it is just that he is having a little difficulty expressing it...