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alexandra_k said:
Hey. I guess that I think it sounds like he is scared of intimacy. Probably due to some of his past stuff.

But that being said he does thoughtful things to show me that he cares.
I wonder if marriage / couples therapy could help.

It might be that he doesn't really understand what it is that you want / need.

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I personally believe it to be that HE is afraid of intimacy with any one he cares to much about- fear of being hurt, left or abandoned....... and that is a death sentence to a marriage.

I know it is not because he does not know what I want - for after 21 years of marriage TRUST ME - I have told him what I need over and over again.... his FEAR stops him from giving more.
I have been thinking about going in for couples counseling, but then again we have done that before and I personally believe that he needs individual counseling before we can work on us.

And YES...... my husband does little caring things for ME too - but as a female I need emotional time and loving on a weekly basis if not every other day, that which I have learned that my husband in not able to give to me or to any one who is an older female.

My FEAR..... he may loose me before he will think of getting help or changing and then it is to late.
... at least I can say I tried and gave it my all - if I leave.