You said you had no other options for therapist.

These are questions I used to ask myself, since I was always testing her (and all my other relationships), in my head : What happens if my therapist FAILS my test? Will I quit therapy? Act out more? Kill myself?...

Not in therapy anymore, and I learned to stop that behavior in all my relationships. Now, I ask for what I want or need. For me, the "begging" came when they dumped me for testing.