You could have something there, although I blame only myself for the separation between myself and my Ex' but the refusal to see my children, that is resting solely on her shoulders.

I have a great deal of self loathing and self hatred within me, I know that I am far from being a perfect person in fact I know myself to be a bad person because why else would I be refused access to my children. I try with all of my heart and soul to be a good person but I know that there is a bad side to me and I guess that is on the surface more than I realised.