So. The first half of yesterday was sublime - I actually enjoyed a social gathering followed by 2-3 hours of 1-on-1 socializing with someone I met who found me "interesting". This was the first time in my entire life that I've actually felt engaged and calm in social interaction - normally, half an hour with someone would leave me exhausted and eager to leave. Yesterday, I actually enjoyed it. I think I said too much about myself, but I can make up for it. We exchanged information and the guy emailed me saying he thinks we're kindred spirits.

The second half of yesterday, I went right back into my old emotional ways. A video gave me a minor existential crisis, a few articles revived my anger and anxiety attached to food. I almost cried; I woke up sad. I intend to just kind of keep pushing through, keep being productive. But god I feel awful.