if you left then i wouldn't think you are a bad person or anything like that. but that being said... i wouldn't give up on him just yet. the 'for better or worse' thing... well... i think that there is hope for a better marriage though he does need to understand that this really is a serious issue when you are starting to contemplate leaving him over it.

> I personally believe it to be that HE is afraid of intimacy with any one he cares to much about- fear of being hurt, left or abandoned...

he needs to understand that you are thinking of realising his worst fears (leaving him) if he doesn't open himself up to a little more intimacy with you.

> I have been thinking about going in for couples counseling, but then again we have done that before and I personally believe that he needs individual counseling before we can work on us.

maybe... you could try and find a therapist who would see you both for couples work and who would agree to take on either or both of you individually if they felt that there could be a benefit to that? it might be... that your husband isn't very good at expressing himself. his feelings and stuff. sometimes guys who find that hard try and express their appreciation and caring through actions (those little caring things)... and they simply don't understand what women get out of emotional connection. they don't understand...

> My FEAR..... he may loose me before he will think of getting help or changing and then it is to late.
... at least I can say I tried and gave it my all - if I leave.

sounds like marriage / couples councelling would be worth a go. to tell him how serious this situation is and why you might be leaving at any rate.

i'm sorry things are hard.