QUOTE: " Even when I was in flux and changing whose eyes I was seeing through frequently it was nothing I would want to encourage or indulge. To lose my sense of self and connection to the world around me and my past was the most awful, lonely, isolating and alienating of expereinces."

I would like to share with you, that I know exactly what you are describing here. That alienation is the most awful feeling that I do not believe there are words to describe, to someone who has never experienced it. It's like a vacuum, that totally separates you everything that you feel is normal. To me, it is almost like a silent panic attack with a mind of it's own. It releases you when it decides it's ready to. It's a very lonely place.

I wanted to share with you, that I know exactly what you describe. I too have been there.