Hi WhatDayIsItAgain,

I am so sorry this happened to you, and I PROMISE you that you or nothing about you was in ANY WAY to blame for what happened
There are NEVER any excuses for rape, and the perpetrator ALONE was to blame for what happened (although personally I would implicate the watchers TOO!!!).
And rape..........I'd say that even a younger, physically fit person could be completely helpless in that situation..........the shock........the fear...........although I do understand how you must have felt very vulnerable
The watchers.............you might not be intending to...........but please try not to justify their reaction by saying you were old...........BOTTOM LINE..............they were WRONG (and that's putting it VERY mildly!!!!).
So WhatDayIsItAgain, please, please, please try not to take on the shame that should be rightfully HIS, rightfully THEIR'S. You are worth SO MUCH more than that!!!
And, if you're not already then maybe you could get some help with what happened to you.............if I can suggest a link others have found helpful:
https://rainn.org/
A lot of people who have been through things like you have, have found it helpful to get support this way.



Alison