honestly, you aren't alone...my case is not at all 'typical' like a lot it seems where they know all the alters (or a lot), know who is who, know when switching happens, etc. and all that goes with all of it.

i've known for years i had others and kept journals (never saw different handwriting per se though), but i've had times where i lost all the knowledge of the others because things were stable and i was finally....me..only me...for a long enough time to not really have things cause issues.

my experience even now is more things like i guess passive influence where i don't actively hear the others talk/talk to them (though it used to be that way) but can feel their feelings, have their feelings influence how i feel, react, think, etc.

i've never switched out completely to another where i blacked out and had zero awareness, so mine mostly have blended/mixed with me to varying degrees, and i don't always know who it is (though i used to be able to figure it out before things changed but when things were very active).

because things change so much for me, it has added a lot more confusion. i don't feel like i fit with a DID diagnosis 100% yet feel like it's more than just DDNOS (or whatever the new diagnosis is). my memory loss is for trauma memories throughout my life, some life events (though i have a good memory i'd say of mostly things related to school/friends, important family events) and memory disruption when dissociation occurs in the form of over hours, days, or weeks forgetting what happened during the dissociation (more with how things were experienced, feelings, any thoughts/lack thereof, etc. which also can include information in bits and pieces).

while some of the others in my system do have names, others don't..and they are quiet and gone somewhere mostly now except the last few months with some new ones, i think too.....so i don't have the knowledge i used to..yet things are more internal anyway, not external which i have heard more often than not, those with DID have covert signs, not overt because the nature of alters/DID is to hide/protect, etc. which makes sense to me and i have to remind myself about when i realize how things have come out for me...so..not everyone has the same experience, and it's important to keep that in mind..i get caught up in that so much..but how i experience things is 'my' normal..i guess..

to me, it is exhausting..sometimes scary, sad....and a lot of other things..in no way is any of it fun or funny to me and confuses me even more when things change and i re learn things i didn't know i forgot or used to know..and it really is strange.