Quote:
Originally Posted by Roaming_bird
Sometimes when I'm hypomanic, I wonder if I'm faking this illness, like I somehow can control it and I'm choosing to be manic and depressed. What if I'm doing it for attention? What if I'm doing it because I somehow enjoy the highs and lows? What if I can actually turn it on and off?
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Wow I just typed out a novel and realized how completely insane I sound because I am hypo right now. Ok so keeping it to the subject... In my experience, it's not until something serious happens that we want to admit we are sick. And even then, we sometimes end up in the same hole countless times. Just another wake up call I'd say. I admit that even after losing my job just two wks ago, I'm not making the best of choices for my mental health at the moment. However I DID seek help from a pdoc at the moment after I walked out of being fired, and like I mentioned in my last post, he told me to "deal with it". So I really don't have any options but to wait till I see my regular pdoc. I am going crazy... From lack of sleep at least that much I do know! I'm just being really hard on myself tonight I guess! Going back to my hole and my mountain of junk food now...(I've gained 5lbs since I lost my job. Yikes).
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