I reached out to several friends tonight to let them know that I found a therapist.

Everyone of course was happy to hear the good news, but many of them included that they had been "thinking of me".

I HATE when people say that when I'm suffering from depression. Because you know what? If you've been thinking of me, I have NOT been thinking of you. I've been sitting alone while you are out enjoying your life with your friends and family wondering just exactly what I've done in my 50 years to **** up my life so much that I'm here alone and suffering alone with no one to hold my hand or just be here with me. Thinking of me is not being present in any way shape or form.

Tonight's rant brought to you by weeks of festering unfettered depression. I do truly appreciate my friends, many of which have been very supportive, and I do love them. I can't rant to them but I can rant here, I think. I hope.