I used to think that I could turn it off and on when I pleased. I might come from how society views mental illness. I would have thoughts akin to "this is just who I am" or "I can turn it on and off when I want". But time caught up with me and I realized it wasn't true. I did have an issue and have noticed some (but not complete) improvement now that I have a diagnosis.

Life sort of gets in the way for me. I tend to forget during the day that I'm BP2 and downplay it now and then. I never thought I was really "faking it" per se, but there was always this feeling that I didn't have a "real" problem. It was something that I manufactured on my own. Now I know that isn't true and I'm OK with being a little "off" when compared to others I know.