Inny - sorry I just read your post and could not think of any response that would help other than I am sorry that your Mom is that way. The only thing I can think of is that your Mom does not understand and it makes her afraid for herself and for you. She just wants everything to be "normal" and probably feels, at some level, responsible - that she failed. I don't know - just know that with Mom's it is always difficult and complicated. Hope things get better for you - take care.