I have had four major depressions in my life, and many minor depressions. I have never had a "breakdown" or been hospitalized.

I don't remember how the other major depressions in my life felt. I was given medication such a benzodiazepam and once an antidepressant for 10 months but presently I am on no medications.

My situation now is different because I am all alone without anyone to call, and no friends or family nearby. I am not on medication. I have been working hard at a holistic program.

What I am wondering is could I all of a sudden feel worse, or become psychotic, or faint or have a panic attack I can't get out of??? I have never experienced anything like this.

I generally don't cry even when stressed so I can't use that as an indication. I am not having panic attacks. I am just severely, severely, severely, severely depressed.

I also want to know if anyone has had the experience of a depression suddenly getting much worse right before it starts to break up?