There is a way out of this (without foolish stuff like giving in to suicidal thoughts; I don't to trivialise them, but they come and go even if they block your view of better days). There always is, even if it means (by doctor's orders!) to sedate yourself so as to not harm yourself in any way and to start thinking more clearly again.

Approval of parents or non-dismissal of BP problems (at uni, in life) is a big influence in BP (I think often one of the biggest factors in pathogenesis; the coming to life of the disorder).

From experience, I'd suggest you both on healthier and open communication with your parents (maybe especially your father: men can be very dismissive of emotional problems) but also take more distance from them. You might think they wouldn't approve, but in the end they want to raise you as a strong, independent individual, I am sure. If that were not the case it is unhealthy and you should certainly find more distance from them.

I really hope you will be feeling better soon. Leave university aside for a bit. I am sure you can pick up where you left off later (or maybe you decide to find a different path in life). Universities tend to outlive us, so there is no rush.



As for going inpatient, think of what they can offer you what you can't have at home now or soon (including meds, of course). If the answer is much, go inpatient.

Try to sleep if you feel you completely lose control.