I'm so sorry, this must be incredibly difficult. Unfortunately I don't have any advice because I'm inexperienced but I'm terrified that I won't be able to relax for it either. I'm a guy but I've always suffered from bad anxiety and social phobia. I think part of the reason I've never gotten close to having sex with anyone is that I'm so afraid I won't be able to perform.

I'm just wondering, do you have trouble with anxiety in general?