i think he is pissed with himself for agreeing to do a phone session with me. i think he expected it to be fairly brief and awkward and ended up being surprised that we ended up talking for three quarters of an hour. his voice changes when it is time to wind down and he started doing that at quarter to. i figure he was still at home and he needed some time to get to work. he said something over the phone (after the initial niceties about how i was sick, yeah, and that sucked, yeah, and it all started over the weekend when...) about how if we had finished talking about that or... so of course i had to tell him something important :-(

i feel resistent. i feel like he is pushing... and pushing... and pushing... kindly. but pushing... and it just makes me want to back off and defend all the more.

:-(

i don't want to see him anymore :-(

just want phone and email and stuff. don't want to see him anymore :-(