Darrrrn it, I was so excited thinking, "Ohhh yeah, Sunny's gonna try this one out, then she'll let us know how it goes... then we can all decide if we should tell our Ts if we love them...." and then I came to this:

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sunrise said:
Not that I'm about to try it out or anything....

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Hehehehe

This is a really interesting topic. I'm not sure if I love my T. I really don't know. I would like to say that I do, but at this point the relationship is too dominated by a mess of other stuff-- the transference, the crazy attachment, the need, the intense fear of abandonment-- to figure out if there is love there, too.

So obviously I would never tell him "I love you" at this point, when I don't even know if I do. Then would I talk to him about what I just said above?

Hell no.

It's a shame, really. Because I can clearly see the pattern. I have talked to him a couple times about my love for my husband-- and how at times my love for him can seem jaded by feelings similar to that of my T-- how I wish I could just relax and love-- but there is so much need and fear and push and pull going on for me that sometimes I feel like I can't. So it's a shame because I'm sure it would be beneficial to talk about the consistencies there in regards to my feelings towards my husband and towards T..... but as usual, I am mortified and scared.

My fear of rejection is so great that to answer this question:

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How do you think your T would react?

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I would have to say that I couldn't tell him because I'd be too afraid of either being completely rejected or driving him away. And that consciously lets me know how bad that fear is... because I know how accepting my T is.... but I am still scared to death that something will push him over the edge and that will be it.