Sometimes the best thing to do is to do nothing.

I am taking the time to soul search and decide if I want to/can continue in this marriage.

Probably what will happen is we will live together for a few more years, because of our son, in separate bedrooms.

I actually like this set-up right now.

I really don't want to have sex with him again. I really am traumatized by all that went on.

He seems to be willing to let this go on for a while. He still doesn't know how to be real with me. Communication definitely is our main problem.

Of course he's worth forgiving and forgetting, even forcing myself to have sex and pretend in order to stay comfortable with him.

The saddest part is I really do love him. I think this is only as close as I am capable of feeling. Maybe it's my huge trust issue.

But he really has issues!

So, we're still separated, but married. I hate this. It's crazy.