I hear you. I have been in that mindset when I was dating after my divorce. And more times than I care to count.
My marriage of 20 years was totally unfulfilling on the emotional and sexual fronts. I fixated during 10 of those years on my painting teacher, who was a cad Svengali type of character who seduced all the female students. The least bit of attention from him had me fixating on him for a whole week till I could get there to the next class. It solved itself when he married one of the other female students, and I moved with away to another state with my then husband. Like you say, I too was depressed.

I continued to fixate on contact with defunct dating partners after the marriage. Wondering what went wrong, maybe I could "fix" it! Looking back now, I realize I was miserable, trying to bond with these men I met on the dating sites. It was, honestly, one user loser after another, and humiliating. I eventually bit the bullet and forced myself to stop it!

In retrospect, it was like an addiction...heck, it WAS an addiction. A counselor told me early on that what I was doing was as addictive as any hardcore drug addiction. Breaking the cycle was tough.

You may not want to stop. That's fine, but just know I do identify with much of what you've said.