I didn't read anyone else's replies. But I would definitely break up. You said yourself you're ruining life's here. You don't even have to tell him about the cheating if you don't want to right now but I would for sure walk away. You said it's a healthy relationship. Nothing about cheating is healthy hun. And I'll admit I have cheated in the past too and I didn't say anything either. But one drunken mistake only happened that one time and I never did it again. I feel horrible for it. And it's not ok. Especially since you're continuing the behavior. Maybe your bf isn't giving you attention or maybe you simply just wanted good sex. There is no good reason though. And you may still be in love with your bf but there is something very wrong in the relationship once you turn to cheating. Just curious, are you by any chance BP or have BPD? I ask because cheating can be a manic behavior or a BPD trait. Yea I have both.

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