1.) money spending, anger, wild and reckless behavior. I spend a lot of time drunk, naked and climbing on things. I buy things in repetition, like spending $400 dollars on underwear or buying every book by the same author in a day. I run away in either serious ways, like abandoning all of my life and belongings to become a traveling salesman, or in not so serious ways like bailing on my friends while out drinking and climbing on rollercoasters in closed amusement parks. I get paranoid, seeing people or thinking people are hiding or taking things from me or that there is an intruder. I obsess about things, thinking in never ending loops about one thing or another. I go for long runs in the middle of the night. I sleep with everyone and put myself in dangerous situations with strangers, some that have led to assaults.At some point I start losing time and then things get scary. I start cutting and clawing and hitting doing anything to let the energy out. I black a lot of those fits out, even while sober. One too many times I have woken up attached to my sheets by coagulated blood. Other times I've lost time more comically. I once woke up on the balcony of a hotel room that I spent 700 dollars on wrapped in only an American flag.
God bless bipolar disorder!
2) The worst thing would probably depend on who you asked that knows me. The most irreparable damage I did was to my partner of eight years. I started sleeping with piles(literally) of women and demanded that it be an acceptable part of our relationship. I also became obsessed with another man. I broke things. I hit him.I spun and spun and spun. I was ferocious with anger, lust and my selfishness destroyed our relationship. He walked away with nothing, and I, being the terror that I am, took everything. It makes me sick and so ashamed to think about it now.