I have been seeing my T for a couple of years and am really attached to him. I mostly think of him as a friend or father figure. I have told him this and he let me know that therapy will not end until I feel ready. He told me that there will come a time when my feelings won't be so intense. Of course, it doesn't stop me from worrying about not being able to see him.

Interestingly, in a session about 5 months ago, he asked me what my life would be like when I got to the point that I never had to see him again (he was trying to set goals). This statement terrified me, and for about 3 weeks after this my attachment went from thinking of him only as a friend/father figure to thinking of him as a boyfriend. It was soooo difficult, but I did tell him this. I told him that after the statement he made about me never seeing him again that I started to feel attracted to him. I said that these feelings terrified me both because I have a husband who I love (oh, the guilt) and that I was worried because my feelings were so strong that I feared I would become a stalker (T said that the people who worry about doing things like this are the least likely to do them).

He told me that he was flattered that I was attracted to him. He explained transference and said that this was something that we would work through to see what I was missing in my life. He told me that he was so impressed at my courage to tell him something that must have been so difficult.

I had been seeing him every other week but wanted to start going every week. I thought that he would say that this wasn't a good idea, but he was totally okay with it! He was very understanding and after a few weeks, the erotic transference dissipated. I still have the intense attachment and at this time doubt if I will ever be okay with not seeing him again.

Good luck to you!