Well hypomania isn't bad, but I already went through it last year. At least now I know what to look out for. And if I get the urge to drink, then I know I'm in trouble because it is a sign since I'm not a drinker...
It began Saturday when I woke up and finally opened my drapes for the first time in months!! It was nice to see the sunchine in my room! After eating a late breakfast, I got the urge to clean everything!! And I mean everything! I focused on the front half of the house and worked on the kitchen, living room and dining room. I wiped, cleaned, and scrubbed everything I could see. I even scrubbed down the doors to the washer and dryer then vacuumed and mopped the floors. After taking a shower because I was drenched in sweat I decided to go the mall and pick up my taxes and decide to drive to another mall about 20-30 miles away because I had some returns. Totally random and unplanned for.
I woke up Sunday and was thinking "must still keep cleaning!" But first I went to Home Depot and bought all this random stuff that I will eventually need but not all at once and not now. Spent more than planned. I come home and clean all the outdoor window sills and my front door, and decided that I wanted to clean all my air vents. Climbed up and unscrewed and cleaned the first one. Putting it back with a manual screwdriver was a pain, so I ran out and bought an electric screwdriver and ended up cleaning the vents in the living room, dining room, kitchen, and changed my air filter as well as cleaned that vent. I was finally exhausted and didn't finish what else I wanted to complete (clean the fridge and washing machine/dryer area) and felt disappointed that I couldn't keep going.
Today was a work in the office day where the entire team is in the office. Now I'm usually the more social team member and can't stop talking. That happened today! And I wasn't faking it this time! It started with talking to my boss for an hour over nothing in particular (after initially going into his office to talk about these stupid T and pdoc appointments and my work schedule). I'm talking to other coworkers throughout the day because I can't stay at my desk. The last two hours of my work day I was talking to another coworker. And when talking to her I noticed that my speech was extra fast and I couldn't stop talking (although she's a willing a participant and contributes to the convo).
I get on the train home and just start journaling away from what was discussed in therapy yesterday. And I'm thinking although it would be nice to have a little hypomania, I just can't deal with that crash again. But I'm getting the impusle to spend money, and with me having my tax refund in my account I can't do that. I need to transfer this money ASAP by opening another account where I don't see it and don't have easy access (no debit card!!). My thoughts are moving faster, I'm typing as fast as I can as I write this and I feel extra hyper now. I didn't get the best of sleep last night and was still tired at work, but was able to push through without getting a soda for the caffeine. I was able to focus at work (the little that I did get done). It's just so much right now!!!
I just don't want to crash...I've been down for so long already....