Hello. I think the peices will come/the memories when you are strong enough to go through them. I also see things as an observer- that is when I was dissociating. Like you, I believe dissociation protected me from what what completely unacceptable to my mind and body and was just too much to bear with all the associated feelings. My lost memory came in my dreams in which I observed 'myself' in a terrible situation The feelings even in my dream were so real and terrible and it was like I was there and reliving it as myself for the first time. It was after expereincing this and seeing myself in a dream that the alter who was standing in for me became known to me. When I was able to accept what she had experienced, and felt it as my own that alter was no longer unknown to me and in time was assimilated into who I now am.

I thank you for sharing. It helps me immensely in my quest to understand myself and others affected by DID.