Thank you for all your kind words. I will get over this feeling eventually, I learned how to deal with it somewhat, except something new happened this time, I kept having nightmares all night long. They were of my husband doing drugs and i would wake up screaming for him. He stood up all night just for me because I wasnt sleeping to well. I think the problem is that this is the actual first time in my life that Im not around them when they are doing the drugs, and it scares me to think that if they have always been somewhat safe when I was there, what happens when I go on with my own life. Do they get even worse. They have both been to prison for drug use and that happened when I was in foster care, since Im not there could something worse happen. Last night was horriv=ble for me, I'm just thankful that my husband is so caring, and he really cares about me.